


it's a bird! it's a plane! no it's victor fucking nikiforov

by quantumgravity



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Helicopters, M/M, human flight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 05:45:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12052551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumgravity/pseuds/quantumgravity
Summary: victor clicks a link and what happens next will surprise you





	it's a bird! it's a plane! no it's victor fucking nikiforov

He's lost and uninspired. For Victor, skating and winning are just chores, tasks to check off a list of things and stuff and things and stuff. 

 

But on a bright and sunny afternoon, Victor lounges on his couch with Makkachin wrapped around his legs. He scrolls through his phone filled with a bajillion pictures of Makkachin and a few pictures of idk, rocks maybe. Then there's a ding, a notification pops up with a link attached to a text from Chris. 

 

If it's a dick pic again, Victor is going to throw his phone. 

 

This time it isn't. It's a video of Katsuki Yuuri skating to his FS program. 

 

He watches the video closely, paying attention to every detail on the screen. 

 

When the video ends, he feels his yogurt slinger harden and rise in his pants. Oh shit, here it is. 

 

Victor’s eyes light up like this picture:

I honestly have no idea how to describe it. It's just how it is. 

 

Victor rips off all his clothes and carefully places makkachin on a blanket. He bites ties the ends together so he can carry makkachin with the strength of his jaw like a stork but he isnt a stork. He's victor fucking nikiforov. 

 

“Okay, makka. Ready for take of.”

 

“Borf”

 

“Let's go”

 

There's a ring protruding from victor’s asshole and he hooks a finger into it. He pulls it out but there's a string attached to some sort of mechanism in his body that makes his meat stick spin around like wind turbines but FASTER THAN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. the string retracts bsck into the abyss that is his asshole and he prepares for launch. 

 

He's flying now but first he crashes through the ceiling and several floors before departing to japan nude. His metre long king kong dong spins so fast u can barely see it. All u can see is a stork but not a stork a human stork probably carrying a baby dog. 

 

He lands in the onsen and yuuri runs faster than the speed of light to catch victor nude. Makkchin probabky goes somewhere to idk. Makkahavefun makkaplay makkaeat??? 

 

“Victor? What are you doing here?”

 

“Hewwo yuuri! Starting today i am going to be ur new coach and u are goin to win”

 

Yuuri blinks a few times and wipes the fog off his glasse. 

 

“First yuuri, we must sexy time now”

 

“??? Okay??” Yuuri reluctantly agrees and it's obvious that he's hesitant because of all the question marks. 

 

Yuuri rips off his clothes and pulls the string in his ass for his dick to spin, matching victor's. They both fly to a place with a lot of wind turbines to have sex. 

 

Victor sticks his dingalong into yuuri’s void of an asshole but yuuri spins too while victor’s dick spins. They start powering the entire world and horray for renewable energy. 

 

Global warming is over now thanks to yuuri and victor helicopter dick fucking. 

 

The end. 

**Author's Note:**

> i dont think i can write crack fic with proper grammar and capitalisation and shit


End file.
